I want to let you know that your daughter is safe. Beautiful smile she has, and I chose to believe that she looks like you. Past two days I just thought about you and today I let go.. If only it were that easy for you to move on. Time heals, but not your wound, I know. Yeah, you will always be on the look out for her, until your last breath. At the end of the day, when you are too tired, with not much energy left to cook the dal – you will think of her, whether she is fed stomach full – and then you drift off to sleep, if sleep ever comes.
The full moon sky does not ease your pain, like oil on burning flame, your heart longs to hold her close and never let go. They say your child is born under very lucky stars, to be adopted by them. But I curse the stars you were born with and the dark scary night in the alley, when the satanic lustful rogue forced on you. Your cries quaked the street, but none rescued.
Yes, yes, I know you had her for sixteen days and finally left her in the doorsteps of the orphanage. And you waited until dawn when the door opened and she was taken in. The wait seemed like eternity and you came a hundred times to take her back, but each time you kept asking “what will I offer my child?” When death was the final call, you abandoned her there.
Last night, I offered her a piece of bread. And your daughter took it, shredded into two with her tiny hands and offered me half. I took her in my arms and hugged her warm. We stayed liked this for sometime and I whispered to her that you love her true.
I want to tell you more and more, but my eyes wells up and my throat is dry. Why are your eyes so dry and blank? I am telling you again and again – she is fine and happy too.
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With what shall we bless this child?
With a smile like light,
With eyes, large and wide,
To see every flower, animal, and bird,
And a heart to feel all that she sees.
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21 comments:
Beautiful. I am moved.
Hi Upsi!
came by here for the first time and read up all u'r posts in one go- and lovvvved it...shall keep coming back...
and btw, thanks for the kind words u left on my page...
rationale: cousin adopted a little baby from India. It was an international adoption and you know what - India govt mandates that a child be "rejected" twice (used to be four)by Indian couples planning to adopt, before being "placed" in the international slot. $#$@#!^%*&*$%$@#!!!
ardra: Thank you. I thgt "Ardra" was an American female name. Now I see - ardramamsandhyakal. ha! Beautiful.
My heart goes out to the person who left the child at the doorstep..
God it must be killing illai..
beautifully written..
international adoption is never easy....not just from india ... other countries are strict as well.....
they come and inspect homes and check your background history ...countries you been & everything about the person & the family....sometimes it takes them years.....it is for good
...that apart it seems stupid to have rules like "rejected twice"...i dont know what purpose it serves....
Gosh! Does that rule apply even to "nri indians" living abroad? I mean... they are still Indians right?
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Blogger:
My BB
BB the most beautiful thingy...bla bla...In a large bowl, combine flour, baking soda and salt. In a separate bowl, cream together butter and brown sugar...bla and...This Banana Bread is moist and delicious with loads of banana flavor! ...and bla.
#1 says: Yo, come to by blog, check out my work on the same!
Blogger: Wowww!! Awesome!! Will do #1
#2 says: Nice work dear blogger
Blogger says: Thank you #2
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“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.” -Einstein
raji: and to think of the million children abandoned every day...heart breaking.
me: agreed that all the checking is for good. But wish that they would come up with an expedited way for the whole adoption logistics. the waiting wears you out and its a huge emotional drain for the parents.
the "rejection" part, they say, is to make sure that the Indian couples have ample chances. (as if there is a drought of orphaned babies in India)
rationale: cousin is Indian origin, US citizen; spouse US origin - hence category 3. rule will apply to us (category 2 i believe) if we are here on permanent visa base.
And to top it all, rationale, bribery is an integral part of this. Burns me out.
Dear fake,
you came to the wrong site to sell your bread and your banana. Funny that you took time to read through the posts and comments, had to fake in on google's name and quote on stupidity. Need I say how you sound!
Have a life, you coward.
ie, when you are done XBox-ing.
Stop judging and start living.
before you barked, may be you should have read your own post(s).
oh wait! was that a meow?
lol
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“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” - Einstein
ada paapi! nee thana fake einstein.
LOL.
unakku naragathil hot oil wait panitigalle.
its really nice to hear that u'r cousin adopted a child from India and that "rejected twice" rule is a stupidity...
anyways thanks for stopping by my blog...
I too have the same kostin...
tamil subset of malayalam? raji can u hear this :-)
wonderfully written.
why would someone want to reject the child though?
That was really nicely written.. Touching.
Did you know it's been proven that american couples are willing to wait longer for a chinese/indian baby? because...*ahem* they are intellectually superior?
I have this from a reliable source.
sunshine: not like they show in movies, where you get to pick and choose a baby. and if you don't like the baby offered to you, you reject. sounds rude, but like "me" was saying -- its all for good.
P Inc: Thank you! now who might you be..off to check.
gabby: ah! someone was telling me this morning that Americans (US citizens) cannot adopt a normal healthy child from India. babies have to be either physically challenged or w/ debilitating illness for an adoption to American (citizens, US origin) couples. thats not true I guess, if your source is right.
Its 10th time i am reading your post,everytime i feel like putting a comment i go blank,What would i say? Soemtimes words fail us,maybe this is one such occassion:)
I dont know if it is wonderfully written,but it sure made me be a part of it while reading it all,and left me silent for a long btime afterwards also,And thats the best way to describe what a reader feels abt what an autor scribbles about:)
Thanks for dropping by my blog.
Beautifully written! I was following your comments... no such rule about an Indian child having to be differently abled to be adopted by Americans. Only there are a lot of legal hassles. But from what I was told they prefer residing in India couples so that the child has a better chance of growing up stuck to its roots!
But even for Indian couples residing in India, it's not an easy talk. You have to pay in lakhs (like they are selling the child!) and then the paperwork and legal hassles can be really discouraging.
enna aachi upsi?
iam touched...
nice blog .......my first time here....read all ur posts..
Am just going thru all your posts.
Loved this- beautifully written about the feelings of that unfortunate mother.
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